Raining

It's raining.  I haven't run today, or in almost a week, which is upsetting to me.  I curse myself that I didn't get a run in this morning, since I knew that it might rain.  Hopefully I will be able to run tomorrow.

Rainy days always feel like I am trapped under a lily pad.  I feel clammy;  my skin feels extra oily and my hair falls flat.  There is always something about rainy weather that makes me feel lethargic.  I don't really like rainy days.  I think about my ancestral homeland, Ireland, where it rains a lot.  I know that in another circumstance I might have grown up there and wonder if I would feel differently about rainy days if I did.  I suppose that I would run in the rain because I would have to and would be used to it.  I might even love it.  Alas, Texas is warm and sunny most of the time, and that is the weather I like the best.  Some people don't like that weather.  My grandmother, who grew up in Ireland and lived in Texas much later in life, seemed to like the hot, sunny Texas weather.  I bet it's easier to get used to the hot sunny weather than a damp climate, but I don't know for sure.  

I will lift weights today, and will hopefully do an ab workout in a little while.  I hope that I can run tomorrow.

Sick

I had a bad and, for me luckily, a rare experience.  I went to my Bikram yoga class after work the other day, and I actually had to sit out a couple of postures because I didn't feel well.  I felt dizzy, like I might pass out.  I was able to do most of the postures, but still didn't feel my best.  It's strange because this never happens to me.  The not-great feeling continued for the remainder of the evening, and even into the next couple of days.  I feel okay now, but I was feeling a bit weak yesterday and this morning.  I don't really know why, although I speculate that I may have been a bit dehydrated.

I have to smile a little at the thought.  "Dehydration" is something that celebrities say that they have when they want people to think they are in the hospital when they are actually in rehab.  Of course, I wasn't hospitalized or anything like that.  I just didn't feel that great and don't really know why this happened when it did.  Dehydration makes sense;  after all, I routinely run as well as do yoga in 100+ degree conditions.  Although I do try to drink as much water as possible and use electrolyte replacements after strenuous exercise, it probably isn't enough.  Added to the mix is the fact that I drink coffee and coca-cola, which are both dehydrating due to the caffeine.  I am basically a ticking time bomb for dehydration.  

What is the answer?  More water, of course.  I think that I also have not been eating enough.  I have lost a couple of pounds.  I definitely know that I don't want to feel like that again!   What is not the answer?  I won't be giving up caffeine any time soon... 

Quotes-September 2013

"You have to be true to yourself.  You have to be enough in touch with who you are and what you want, how you want to live, and what's important to you, to make your decisions based on that.  Sometimes that's very difficult.  Sometimes it's hard to have your own internal voice be heard.  You have just one life to live.  It is yours.  Own it, claim it, live it, do the best you can with it."
       
                                                                                                        -Hillary Rodham Clinton


"Are you smart?"
"Obviously."
"Then don't be scared."

                                                                                                        -From Jack Reacher



"Don't be afraid to be confused.  Try to remain permanently confused.  Anything is possible.  Stay open, forever, so open that it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen."

                                                                                                           -George Saunders

"Being realistic is the fastest track to mediocrity."

                                                                                                            -Will Smith


"Study your strengths, then decide how hard you want to work."

                                                                                                           -Martha Stewart


"One (quality for success) is heavy-duty resilience, a requirement because anyone who is really in the game messes up at some point.  You're not playing hard enough if you don't."

                                                                                                             -Jack Welch


"Strengthen self ceaselessly and cultivate virtue to nurture the world."

                                                                                                            -Binghua Vaiv


"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach.  The world you desire can be won.  It exists...it is real...it is possible...it's yours."

                                                                                                             -Ayn Rand

Running is Boring

Of course, I don't think that running is boring.  However, boredom is one of the main reasons people give me for why they don't run.  Typically, such people are in good shape and pursue other types of exercise, but running is not their cuppa.

I was talking with a couple of colleagues at work today, one a runner and one not.  They both are committed to fitness in different ways.  One likes to run and skateboard, and one likes weight lifting and ju-jit-su (I definitely spelled that wrong, but I don't feel like looking it up right now).  The guy who does "jitz", as he calls it, is very fit and obviously dedicates a lot of time to fitness.  However, he thinks running is boring.  Even he admits that he runs a couple of hundred miles a year, mostly doing fun runs with a friend who is a running enthusiast.

I totally get why people think that running is boring.  I even get bored every once in awhile when I run.    People are just wired differently.  I like to listen to music when I run, and I find that I can often think better and come up with ideas that might otherwise have eluded me.  Sometimes I just let my mind wander, allowing it to go to places where it needs to go.  Other people might find that excruciating, much as I would if I had to hit a baseball or something.  One of my eyes is higher than the other, making it difficult to see small balls hurtling at me, but that is another story.  

I have to admit that I feel sorry for people who don't like to run because they don't experience what I do, which I suppose is part of the famous "runner's high".  They probably feel sorry for me when they see me running or even think of me running.  To each his own, I guess.

Thoughts of Marathons

Even though I have a running blog and consider myself an avid runner, I don't necessarily consider myself a runner with a capital R.  I mean, I don't run dozens of races every year.  I don't make my living as a runner.  I don't run 50 miles per week (right now).  However, in my circles I guess that I am considered to be a Runner inasmuch as I probably run more than anyone else that most of the people I know know personally (got that?).  What I am trying to say is that I get a lot of comments about running.  For example, a vendor I work with told me about her son who is training to run a half-marathon, and asked me if I was training for anything right now.  My brother-in-law made a comment (jokingly, but not entirely so) that I run ten miles a day.  My mother-in-law is incredulous (jokingly, but not entirely so) that I am not in the I.C.U. due to all of the running I do.  I've been admonished by a work colleague (not jokingly at all) not to ask him to run any more races because he has gotten too injured from previous ones.  In short, when a lot of people think of me, running is what comes to mind.

I wonder if I exaggerate my running, causing others to do so as well.  I don't think so.  I'm truthful about every mile I run.  However, all of the comments make me want to step up my game, and live up to the expectations that I feel as a result of hearing them.  

Since December I have trained for four half-marathons, and have run three (I bailed on one at the last minute due to a business trip and really cold and windy weather).  The summer was hot, as I may have mentioned.  I was trained out.  However, at my last half-marathon, the San Diego Rock and Roll, I signed up for next year's marathon.  It was a decision made in the excitement of the moment.  Anyone who has been at an expo the day before a race can probably relate.  I regretted it afterwards, but reasoned that I paid a relatively small price and still had a while to think about it.

I am also about to have a birthday.  It's not one of the major milestone birthdays, but I have decided to divide my life in half at it.  If I am somewhat lucky this will be the second half of my life.  Most of my relatives did not live as long as I hope to live, but I take pretty good care of myself (I run, after all) so I think I have a shot.  Accordingly, I should make some plans for the second half.  I've already made a start. 

The 2014 San Diego Marathon will be my next full marathon.

Pretending

Meryl Streep once said, "Pretending is not just play. Pretending is imagined possibility. Pretending, or acting, is a very valuable life skill and we do it all the time."  

A friend of mine at work is always very calm and cheerful in every circumstance, at least every circumstance I've ever seen her in at work.  I've always envied her ability to do that, and last week, when I was feeling less than calm and cheerful, I asked her how she managed it.  "This isn't real", she said, gesturing around the office.  Her kids and her life with them, that is 'real' for her.

Meryl Streep is obviously very successful at what she does, so maybe her words bear some pondering.  My friend, too, is very successful at what she does, and has certainly been able to weather some storms.  Maybe the idea of pretending, of considering circumstances not to be 'real', is helpful.  After all, what is 'real' anyway?  We all filter experiences through our own unique lenses, so no two people have exactly the same perception of any given event.  It's all at least a little different anyway, so how much of a leap is it to say that something is real vs. not?  

I've been spending the last week or so trying to develop the mindset of pretending.  For me, the idea of pretending helps me not to take things so seriously.  When things are real they are serious, and I can mess them up badly and ruin my life.  The thought of messing things up triggers my 'freeze' response, and I feel stuck in my tracks.  When things are pretend, they are a game.  It's like swearing in a different language, or Monopoly money.  

Of course, it's a good idea to keep some grip on reality, and maybe that grip can be easy to lose if one isn't careful.  Then again, pretending is pretending, as opposed to actually thinking that something isn't real.  It is indeed 'imagined possibility', and maybe it can help to make things possible.  As the saying goes, 'fake it 'till you make it'...   

Summer is Coming to an End

Summer may be nearly over, but one would hardly know it here in north Texas.  The temperatures are still around 100 degrees Farenheit, and people are still complaining about it.  In fact, people are complaining more than ever because they expected that things would have cooled down by now.  There is lots of excitement about football and school, and people are already starting to talk about being able to wear their warmer clothes.  Hot weather has no place in the picture.

Each year I find myself becoming more torn about the end of summer.  I love summer, and I love hot weather.  As I am fond of saying, that is why I live in Texas.  I grew up in Michigan, and remember the monotonous winters that lasted for at least five months.  I would walk to school backwards so that the frozen rain wouldn't sting my face.  Once in the classroom, it would take an additional 20 minutes for everyone to take off their outerwear, and the classroom smelled musty for the rest of the morning.  I had an uncle who lived in Texas, and when I'd see the temperature differences on the national weather map on the news, I'd think, "I need to move there".  Eventually, when I was 12, my family did.

However, as much as I like hot weather, I don't particularly love triple digit temperatures, and have found that they can really hamper my running.  I find it interesting that my best mile per minute time was achieved during the longest distance I ran this summer, when I ran the half-marathon in San Diego.  For those not in the know, San Diego temperatures in the summer are usually in the 70s, at least 20 degrees cooler than is typical in Dallas.

The weather will definitely be cooler (but not too cold) in late September and through most of October, but it gets unpredictable after that.  From November through March, just about anything can happen, weather-wise.  There could be a blizzard, or it could be in the 80s.  I like the fact that the weather isn't monotonous, but am dreading the cold in a way that I don't dread the summer heat.  Of course, when it gets really cold, that's when Bikram Yoga is especially satisfying.  The yoga room is the one place where a person can feel truly warm, particularly when it's just too cold to run.

After a Run I Feel Better

I have a tendency to get a bit anxious from time to time, which has shown up in a previous post.  This time it is about my car.  The tire light came on, telling me that my rear tire was low.  This has happened before, especially when the weather changes.  The weather had not changed (it was still hot), so I thought it was a little strange, but the car can be a little sensitive when it comes to tire pressure.  My husband and I went to fill up the tire today, which we thought was all that needed to be done, instead finding out that the tire has a leak and won't hold air.  Luckily it is a "run flat" tire, which means that it will run for about 50 miles.  After that it may just completely fall apart for all I know.  

The tire light originally came on Friday when I was on my way home from my Bikram Yoga class.  I went home, went to work, went to get my bi-weekly mani/pedi, and came back home.  I did not use the car at all the rest of the weekend except to try to put air in the tires, which probably added another 2-3 miles.  All in all, I went 25 or so miles, which means that I have another 25 or so to go.  Luckily there is a dealership very close to where I work, and I bought tire coverage, which means that this could be relatively convenient and at no cost.  

However, I am a little worried that I will have to bring it to the dealership where I bought it, which means that I would have to drive a lot further, and will most likely go over the 25 or so miles I have left.  Another reason that I don't want to go back to the original dealership is that I might run into the guy who sold me the car, who used to be my friend until he texted me a naked picture of himself, but that is another story.  A part of the "other story" that relates to running is that I also used to run in a group that included him and his wife, but I only mention that because this is a running blog.  

In any case, I reacted sort of badly about the tire, and was probably not as nice about it as I should have been to my husband.  I didn't yell or get abusive or anything, but I got upset and I feel guilty because he truly is the sweetest husband I could ever hope to have.  He was probably especially happy that tonight was his weekly dinner date with his dad, so he could get away from the car drama for awhile.

After he left, I went for a run.  I try to make it a rule that I don't run more than two days in a row when the temperature reaches triple digits, but today I made an exception because it rained last night and was a bit cooler, and also I was upset and running can be very helpful in that circumstance.

Running came to the rescue again!  When I went out, I was still ruminating over the problem, what I was going to do, the negative things that could happen, etc.  By the time I got finished (I did 5 miles) I felt so much better and was worrying and ruminating a lot less.  The whole calm fest I was having for myself has waned a bit, but I am still in better shape than I was earlier.  As I prepare to go back to work after the three day weekend and deal with everything, I have hope that things will work out.  

The English say that tea will cure everything (being Irish and having had an Irish grandmother and a large Irish extended family who are actually in Ireland, I can vouch for the Irish having a similar philosophy.  And yes, the Irish and English are still very different cultures and countries, which, surprisingly, a lot of people don't seem to appreciate).  No disrespect to the Irish or English (I love a good cuppa myself), but the way they feel about tea is the way I feel about running-it also makes one feel better, no matter what.  Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without it.