Pretending

Meryl Streep once said, "Pretending is not just play. Pretending is imagined possibility. Pretending, or acting, is a very valuable life skill and we do it all the time."  

A friend of mine at work is always very calm and cheerful in every circumstance, at least every circumstance I've ever seen her in at work.  I've always envied her ability to do that, and last week, when I was feeling less than calm and cheerful, I asked her how she managed it.  "This isn't real", she said, gesturing around the office.  Her kids and her life with them, that is 'real' for her.

Meryl Streep is obviously very successful at what she does, so maybe her words bear some pondering.  My friend, too, is very successful at what she does, and has certainly been able to weather some storms.  Maybe the idea of pretending, of considering circumstances not to be 'real', is helpful.  After all, what is 'real' anyway?  We all filter experiences through our own unique lenses, so no two people have exactly the same perception of any given event.  It's all at least a little different anyway, so how much of a leap is it to say that something is real vs. not?  

I've been spending the last week or so trying to develop the mindset of pretending.  For me, the idea of pretending helps me not to take things so seriously.  When things are real they are serious, and I can mess them up badly and ruin my life.  The thought of messing things up triggers my 'freeze' response, and I feel stuck in my tracks.  When things are pretend, they are a game.  It's like swearing in a different language, or Monopoly money.  

Of course, it's a good idea to keep some grip on reality, and maybe that grip can be easy to lose if one isn't careful.  Then again, pretending is pretending, as opposed to actually thinking that something isn't real.  It is indeed 'imagined possibility', and maybe it can help to make things possible.  As the saying goes, 'fake it 'till you make it'...